Tuesday, August 22, 2006
[after a long bike ride]
joey: so girls don't sweat, eh?
emily: nope.
joey: and that big wet spot on your back is from a hydration system gone haywire?
emily: it was the haywire that broke the camelbak.
joey: so girls don't sweat, eh?
emily: nope.
joey: and that big wet spot on your back is from a hydration system gone haywire?
emily: it was the haywire that broke the camelbak.
maria: just in case you need them, there are pads here in this cabinet.
emily: ok.. i'll make a mental note of it... i mean, a menstrual note!
emily: ok.. i'll make a mental note of it... i mean, a menstrual note!
Friday, July 28, 2006
playing a game of online scrabble
danny: [plays 'QURAN']
emily: [plays 'FLINT']
danny: why didin't you challenge 'QURAN'?
emily: um... it was such a good word...
danny: because you can't challenge the Qu'ran!!
danny: [plays 'QURAN']
emily: [plays 'FLINT']
danny: why didin't you challenge 'QURAN'?
emily: um... it was such a good word...
danny: because you can't challenge the Qu'ran!!
Thursday, July 27, 2006
discussing the characteristics of her future roommate
allie: i hope she isn't a neat freak. if so, she will be very displeased with her living situation. ie, me. i also hope she isn't into drinking and barfing all over.
emily: especially since your stuff will be everywhere.
allie: i hope she isn't a neat freak. if so, she will be very displeased with her living situation. ie, me. i also hope she isn't into drinking and barfing all over.
emily: especially since your stuff will be everywhere.
Thursday, July 20, 2006
emily joy: how many representative particles in a mol?
danny: 6.02 x 10^23... avogadro's number!!
emily joy: avocado's number? what if you had avogadro's number of avocados?
danny: oh wow.. i wish i had a mol of avocados, i'd make guacamol!
danny: 6.02 x 10^23... avogadro's number!!
emily joy: avocado's number? what if you had avogadro's number of avocados?
danny: oh wow.. i wish i had a mol of avocados, i'd make guacamol!
Monday, January 23, 2006
[putting new brakes on emily's bicylce]
emily's dad: there's too much metal here. you see, the brake pads are touching. you'll be hard-pressed to press the pedals.
emily: therein lies the rub!
emily's dad: there's too much metal here. you see, the brake pads are touching. you'll be hard-pressed to press the pedals.
emily: therein lies the rub!
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
russell: ...let's ask emily.
lance: hey, emily!
emily: yeah?
lance does the SWAT team take care of problems in the no-fly zone?
emily: AAAAAAHHHHH!!!
lance: hey, emily!
emily: yeah?
lance does the SWAT team take care of problems in the no-fly zone?
emily: AAAAAAHHHHH!!!
Thursday, December 01, 2005
dan: hi, i'll have a bowl of the lentil soup please.
iranian guy at espresso 22: sorry, i'm all out. i have potato.
dan: i see. is the potato soup vegetarian as well?
guy: if you want i can cut my finger off and put it in the soup! no, just kidding! it is vegetarian.
iranian guy at espresso 22: sorry, i'm all out. i have potato.
dan: i see. is the potato soup vegetarian as well?
guy: if you want i can cut my finger off and put it in the soup! no, just kidding! it is vegetarian.
dave: i don't know if i want to study abroad for a whole year. i mean, that's a long time away from school. what if that's the year i'm going to meet my future wife?
classmate: what if your future wife's abroad?
dave: what if my future wife's a broad‽
classmate: what if your future wife's abroad?
dave: what if my future wife's a broad‽
Monday, September 26, 2005
emily: wanna know what my brother and lance bought at the shoutpost?
dan: raisins?
emily: seitan jerky!
dan: ooh
dan: "damned good"
dan: "hellishly scrumptious"
dan: raisins?
emily: seitan jerky!
dan: ooh
dan: "damned good"
dan: "hellishly scrumptious"
dan: Tonight at Feast everything was apples!
dan: apple pie, apple cake, apple cider, apple crisp, apples...
emily: minniapples?
dan: apple pie, apple cake, apple cider, apple crisp, apples...
emily: minniapples?
Saturday, September 17, 2005
outpost manager: here's your cashier drawer. [bumps into emily] oops, sorry.
emily: it's ok. i till love you.
emily: it's ok. i till love you.
Saturday, September 10, 2005
buying flowers at the farmers' market
farmer: do you want a bag for those statice?
emily: yes, it's an important statice-symbol.
farmer: do you want a bag for those statice?
emily: yes, it's an important statice-symbol.
Friday, September 02, 2005
emily's dad: your mom and i have to go to alverno to buy the book for the spanish class we're going to take. and while we're there we might as well buy sweatshirts, keychains, flip-flops, binders, and anything else that says "alverno" on it. we could even buy a... a... you know, those traingle things*... [makes waving motion]
emily's mom: penance?
emily: well, it is a catholic school.
*i guess this is only funny if you know that my dad was referring to a pennant.
emily's mom: penance?
emily: well, it is a catholic school.
*i guess this is only funny if you know that my dad was referring to a pennant.
Saturday, August 20, 2005
emily: i heard about a girl who kept fish in her sink, but one day there was too much chlorine in the water and it died.
general chorus: oh, that's awful!
emily's mom: i guess it was a bleached whale.
general chorus: oh, that's awful!
emily's mom: i guess it was a bleached whale.
Friday, July 29, 2005
talking with joe after his stellar guitar/vocals performance at louhelen baha'i school
emily: joe! that was amazing!
joe: yeah, i'd just like to know what it sounds like when i don't feel like i'm going to piss my pants.
emily: joe! that was amazing!
joe: yeah, i'd just like to know what it sounds like when i don't feel like i'm going to piss my pants.
emily and her mother watch in awe as a man whizzes by on his motorcycle, both hands in the air
mother: i wonder if he's going to german fest. that looks like a germanic thing to do.
emily: or just regular-manic.
mother: at least he's wearing a helmet.
mother: i wonder if he's going to german fest. that looks like a germanic thing to do.
emily: or just regular-manic.
mother: at least he's wearing a helmet.
Monday, August 23, 2004
emily: ugh, i think i'm going to barf my guts out.
yuri: (speaking slow, careful english) barf? what is barf?
emily: barf. vomitar.
yuri: ah, gust your butt off.
emily: not exactly.
yuri: (speaking slow, careful english) barf? what is barf?
emily: barf. vomitar.
yuri: ah, gust your butt off.
emily: not exactly.
emily: what an insulting thing to say, dan!*
dan: i'm sorry..
emily: no, no. i'll just talk to john, who always gives me positive feedback.
john: whatever you say, retard.
dan: i'm sorry..
emily: no, no. i'll just talk to john, who always gives me positive feedback.
john: whatever you say, retard.
